An Errant Maid

I remember receiving a birthday card a few years back. It showed a close-up photo of a refined looking lady sitting in an armchair, apparently studying a seriously large textbook. The caption on the outside read "They say with age comes wisdom".When I opened it up I nearly wet myself. The caption on the inside said "Well, I say bollocks to that!" The prim and proper lady as she appeared on the outside was shown, in the inside of the card to be half-way through her second bottle of wine, while the clothes she was wearing were far less respectable and the textbook was only there to disguise the fact she was enjoying a calendar of undressed young firemen with their helmets on display.

I really identified with that card - something about the "live life to the full" side of it appealed to me, I think! - and I was reminded of it very recently, when I was asked to go to the assistance of a gentleman friend of mine.

Now in many ways Steve is a treasure, but he's not the tidiest of persons! I wasn't too surprised to get a text from him one Friday lunchtime asking if I could do him a favour and clean his place up a little during the afternoon. He mentioned a particularly nice bottle of red as a trade-off, and knowing him as I do I knew it would be well worth my while. Reading between the lines as I drove over I decided he might be thinking of bringing someone back that night, so I suppose I was in a slightly sexual frame of mind to begin with.

I should perhaps have twigged just after I got through the front door. He has a key that he keeps hidden for emergencies, and the first thing I saw when I stepped into the flat was a clothes hanger with a note on it that read "We don't want you getting your clothes messy, now do we? S"

Looking back on it now I was distracted, wondering about his date for the evening. His ex and I were quite close friends before they divorced, and I was trying to decide if I should say anything to her. I changed into the maid outfit without really thinking about things such as why it was there, and how did he know my size, and began picking up clothes and clutter.

I had moved on to sweeping the kitchen floor when I saw on the sideboard there was a rather nice open bottle of white with one of those preserving stoppers in the top. I know how fussy he is about that kind of thing, so I was sure it would be going down the plughole when he got back that evening. I decided I needed a treatafter dealing with the layer of breadcrumbs that had built up around his toaster, so I helped myself to a glass and carried on.

The next stop was his workroom, a mixture of spare bedroom and office. Among other things he does freelance graphics and copy writing, so I knew he'd treated himself to a Mac a few months beforehand. What I didn't know was that it wasn't all work and no play! I was tidying up some letters and a couple of pens on his desk when I happened to nudge the table a little. It must have been the mouse moving that did it, but the screen came alive to a display of a video playback set on pause. I almost didn't notice at first, because what was on the screen was more or less the view of the room I had from where I was standing. The only thing that was differentwas the hair and naked right shoulder of the woman tantalisingly out of shot. Curiosity got the better of me, so I moved the mouse pointer over and unclicked the pause button.

It was Ellen, his ex-wife. There was no doubt about it. She was smiling into the camera, dancing gently, and completely nude, save for the red high heels. It felt slightly odd to be seeing her so... uninhibited, but I'd always thought she had the sort of body that could tempt me off the straight and narrow. Slowly I sat down, and watched her perform for the cameraman. I assumed it was Steve, then wondered if I was watching an event that was grounds for the divorce.

(You can read the rest of the naughty story in the members area, and see poor Lorna getting a bare-bottomed spanking ... and the rest!)

This issue has been archived in the members area.